Complexities arise as you begin to immerse yourself in a spiritual practice. I've experienced this with my past Christian practice, and am now beginning to see similiar complexities with buddhist practice. Really, what seems to be true is that you really can't put your faith blindly in anything.

What am I talking about? Just recently I read two sort of disturbing forums/dialogues about 1) Nichiren Buddhism and 2) Geshe Michael Roach. I don't think it is necessary to go into the details of the posts, other than to say they made me cringe and nervous in the way that I once cringed and was nervous when fundamentalists slammed every other variety of christian out there or when a strong, visible leader stumbled and I realized my own faith was rocked as a result.

What I am taking away from my recent disillusionment is this: Listen to your own mind, check in with your own experience and follow your own heart. I know that too often I put my trust in other people to tell me what is right and wrong. That means tradition etc. It is just too tempting to opt out of the decision making process and let yourself follow blindly.

I know there are a lot of times that you need to trust that the answer will be revealed. I'm not knocking the 'I don't know yet' answer. But watch your heart, that is all. Trust yourself, the wisdom is ultimately inside of you.